I’m  warning you in advance, this is not your mother’s book review (takes me a tiny bit to get warmed up)! It has a lot of really personal stuff from my life as I reflect on the book, and is discussed in my fun (and language filled) manner.

Siddhartha, by Hermann Hesse is a book that does not fit in my normal reading list. As with all things in my life, this too has a fascinating story and reflection.

It all started with Jaime.

Have you ever known someone… you knew who they were… you’ve spoken before… you’ve got many friends in common?  Sure you have.  In my case, this is Jaime Mintun. I met her in March of 2009.  She was one of the keynote speakers at Stompernet 7.  I was invited, and had a blast learning and partying.  Jaime had caught my attention… not because of her good looks, but because she was speaking about consulting- something I do, and am always fascinated with.  The way she presented things made sense.

Since then I’ve met many of her friends, and  seen her a few times in various cities… most recently, hanging out with my fellow adventurer, Caleb Jennings at David Wolfe’s Longevity Conference.  Why is this worth mentioning?  Keep reading, you’ll see.

Now that I’m in La Jolla, we decided to hang.  I guess we see each other on Facebook so often, with so many friends in common, that we felt we knew each other. *WRONG* – This blog post is about Siddartha, but I could easily write a much longer post about Jaime…. for starters, there’s this story called Acres of Diamonds.  In that story, this guy sells his property to fund a diamond funding expedition.  He spends his whole life looking for diamonds, and does not succeed… yet, the property he sold ended up being one of the largest diamond mines ever.

That’s a reminder for you to really get to know the people who are already in your life.  Some of them may be the most awesome diamond mine ever!  Upon hanging with Jaime at a coffee shop, neither one of us got any of our work done. We did have an absolute blast… a day of non-stop laughter, and getting to know each other.  Turns out that she is extremely smart, extremely learned, well travelled, and a heck of an achiever.  When we spoke about creativity though, she told me about Siddhartha, and how fascinating she found it.  Here’s a link to Jaime’s blog post about Siddhartha.

What she had told me was that she didn’t feel that she felt in…. she liked to travel, but her hippie friends gave her crap about having nice things, while her successful friends gave her crap about staying at hostels and low-cost residences while traveling. And she read this book, and felt fine with being herself…. (and now, finally, onto the book)

This book reminds me of something I would have read in high school or college English/Literature class. It started off sort of boring me..(What? I’m being honest!  Anyways… if that’s all you read, then you’re a fool!  Keep going!) The languaging is slow, and of an earlier era.  It was published in 1922, and in the USA in 1951, before Fight Club, so it is forgiveable.  This was not intended to be an action novel, but an allegorical tale (it tells a story other than the literal interpretation of what you read, by using figures and symbols to convey the intended message).

Jaime’s summary:  This guy goes around the land meeting all these different leaders… Buddah, merchants, etc… each one trying to tell him what’s so special about their thing… but in the end, the only person who is just is the Ferryman… ’cause he would just bring people to their destination, and did not judge them, or tell them what to expect…. he let them find their own path.   I said that it was during our talk of creativity that Jaime told me about this book, because like the Ferryman, Jaime can connect people of different worlds, so they understand each other, without judging them… win-win-win.

I’m not going to tell you the entire story– you can get it on audio book, or even read it for free on Project Gutenberg: http://www.gutenberg.org/etext/2500 – If you’re not familiar with Gutenberg.Org, you should check it out!  It’s a site that posts an insane amount of public domain literature/sheet music/etc… Apparently, I am going to tell you the whole story… Since there is so much that relates from the story to my life (this sentence was inserted after writing this post), but I tell it in a lot fewer pages than Hesse did.

I mention Jaime, her blog, and her summary, because I’m fascinated by how different people read the same thing, and get such a different message out of it.

I was able to connect with Siddhartha as a literal character, not just in the allegorical sense.

The novel begins by talking about what a hotshot Siddhartha is…. everyone likes him, he’s good looking, he’s smart, he’s helpful, he’s successful at what he does, he is passionate, he makes other people smile….. and yet, he does not have his own happiness.

His happiness is missing, because while he’s learned all that they teach the Brahmin (the Indian caste / religion he was born into), he didn’t think that their answers actually provided truth. So, he and his buddy Govinda skip town to join the Shramanas, which are ascetics (people who give up all posessions, and basically all worldly pleasures in order to find enlightenment).

Before they go, he wants permission from his dad… who’s not willing to give it… until he realizes that Siddhartha is stubborn, and is going to do this anyways, so he finally gives him his blessing.  While not a lot of time is spent on this portion of the story, this is a major theme (uggh!  See!  Told you this sounds like a Literature class.  Even my writing sounds like homework for one of those.  It’s all right– classes are good.) which sort of boils down to “If you love something, set it free.  If it comes back, it was meant to be.  If it doesn’t, hunt it down and kill it…. er… if it doesn’t, it wasn’t meant to be!” (the original cliche, probably didn’t have that hunting part :p )

So, my parents “let me” go on this trip… they didn’t understand it (thought this would be just another phase), but they love me, so they let me go (not that I’m that easy to stop).  They let me get a motorcycle (though, that took a little bit of reverse psychology) despite being so worried about what will happen to me if I get a bike.  I loved my Honda CBR 600 F2, but sure enough… I got shot in the leg with a paintball gun while doing 110mph! Parents know everything!

So, Sid (yeah… I’m gonna call him that   It’s way faster to type… and for you to read!) and Go (well.. if Sid gets abbreviated, this is only fair.  Anyways… Sid & Go has a way more stylish feel to it…. maybe I’ll do a rewrite of the original novel, turning it into a modern action story… that has deep meaning, of course) hang with the Shramanas, and Sid says, “Nah… they don’t know shit either!” (he worded it differently) “What else is there?”

Now Go is sort of a bitch… when Hesse starts the book by saying what a badass Sid is, he talks about how Go is kind of his bitch… he wants to be him, and follow him to the end of the world.

Go is an important character for me, because he reminds me of one of the chapters in my book that talks about the people who care about you, but weigh you down.  Go always tells Sid how cool he is, but whenever Sid says “Hey! These peeps don’t know jack, let’s find some better answers!” Go tries to talk him out of it!  That little bitch, how dare he?  Despite all that, he still goes where Sid goes.

So, they left the Brahmin, they left the Shramanas, and they heard about this Buddah dude.  He’s supposed to be hot shit, and his opt-in list is growing like mad!  Oh wait… marketer-speak again…. his following is growing quickly, thus he probably has the truth.

Hesse did not spend much time talking about the journey here… It went quickly from “I heard Buddah has some good stuff” to “Yay! We’re here!”

So, Sid & Go couchsurf (yeah!  There’s a lot of couchsurfing in this novel, no wonder I like it!) with some people, and watch Buddah and his yellow-robed buddies all go beg for food, then they catch his lecture, and decide it’s pretty decent.  So, they crash another couch, and Go, who’s kind of a follower anyways decides that Buddah is in fact awesome, and that this must be the truth.

Sid wishes him well, but decides that Buddah is kind of high and mighty too, so he’s gonna go find the real truth.  He wasn’t a dick about it though.  He flat out told Buddah that his program’s pretty damn great, but has one major problem….  you can’t teach what Buddah experienced, because he experienced it… it’s an experience, not knowledge! He also told him that his stuff’s a bit too polarized.  There’s more to life than suffering and Nirvana (though, people in Seattle may argue that!).

More reflection– I was told that I’m supposed to go to college. That must be the truth, right?  Well, I went to UF, and left, ’cause I knew more than they did from my own learnings (about 3d animation– which in ’94 was not nearly as popular as it is now).  It was hard to break the news to my own Go (friends and family), but I knew that this was the path for me.

Actually, it’s an awesome story, so here’s the quickie version (color coded & italicized, so you can fast forward to Sid’s story if mine’s not fascinating enough f0r you): I started with CIS (computer and information sciences) since I wanted to learn 3d animation. After a bunch of prerequisites, it turns out that 3d animation is in the Fine Arts program, and you have to take this 13 credit class called WARP (hell if I remember what it stands for, but you had 6 hours of class on Monday / Wednesday / Friday, and lectures on Tuesdays, and tons of projects to keep you busy in between).

We had this project to mix our style with that of an artist whose name we chose out of a hat. I got Jennifer Bartlett. Some fancy NY artist whose work focuses on nature, and the passing of time (yes, I actually did research to find this out).  I took the 486 computer that I had built (I had actually driven 4 hours to get parts at wholesale to upgrade it for animation….16MB of RAM, and a 2x CD ROM drive were expensive as hell!  I had put it on Mom & Dad’s credit card – which they discovered quite quickly — and spent 6 months paying them back. ) and installed a pirated copy of Autodesk Animator on it.

In AA (Autodesk Animator… although I sure did drink a lot more back then than I do these days), I animated a robot juggling.  The background was a photo of dunes in the desert.  A dust storm came, and blew the desert away to reveal a modern city.  The juggling robot didn’t care, he just kept doing his thing, while the city turned to desert, and desert turned to city.

I had mixed my style and Mrs. Bartlett’s style by showing landscapes, and time passing– the things that she likes — in a medium that I use (computers and animation) with the art and themes that I like — sci-fi, robots, high-tech, modern.

I actually had to schlep (yiddish for carry…. often used when speaking of cumbersome cargo) my computer and my monitor in my Ford Taurus Station Wagon — my 2nd hand me down from the folks…. I trashed this one as well, though it was a wonderful car to carry kegs in– and set it up in front of the class.

I played my animation, and explained about Jen’s work and mine. People were impressed, and I was pleased with myself, but then the teacher says “ok, but what’s your message?”

“Huh?” “Message?”

People started guessing, “Are you trying to say that all things fade away?” “History repeats itself?”

I pointed at the one who said the thing about fading away “Ummm… Yeah!  You got it!” awkward pause “What he said!” (In hind sight, Battlestar Galactica – the modern series- was a complete rip-off of my art project: people evolve, create technology — robots, of course – which helps to bring them into more modern times, and then turns against them, and then the people get back to Earth, and blow up all their technlogy… back to dirt.  Now, I hadn’t actually seen the show, but Craig Allen was kind enoguh to give me the run down)

“Ah huh!”  the teacher was not convinced.

What the hell?!?!  The project sheet said nothing about having a message! It said to mix our style with the hat-artist’s style!  I decided to be stubborn, and bring up this point.

The teacher tried to explain – as if this were common knowledge – that everything we create has a meaning.  I disagreed. I believe that sometimes we just create to create…. ’cause it’s fun, or it’s theraputic… and that if they wanted a message, they should have explicityly said so in the assignment.

In case you’re wondering, I did get a shitty grade on that project because I didn’t have a message!

Part of the way through WARP, they have a lecture where all the department chairs show you the different things that each department produces, so you can choose your path for next semester.  When I saw what their idea of computer animation was (making still frames in Photoshop (back then in version 2.x ) and making an animation out of them by using Macromedia Director (Adobe Flash’s great grand daddy… I used to program interactive CD’s in Director back in the late 90′s), I was pissed off!

What the hell?  I’m already more advanced than this entire department… my juggling robot was light years ahead of their crappy animation!

The day I walked out of class, and UF all together, was the day we had  discussion. The same high-and-mighty teacher that thought that you have to have a message behind everything you do said “All right, so let’s say you have a gallery exhibit, and someone wants to not only buy one of your pieces, but also to license it, and make stamps, posters, and prints from it.  What do you think?”

The whole class looked uncomfortably at their toes… avoiding all eye contact with the teacher…  The whole class except me of course (no wonder I love the Little Johnny jokes so much!  So many of them start just like this!), I had my hand raised way up high.

“Ori?”

“Well, that’s great!”

The whole class turned and looked at me as if I wore a KKK outfit to a MLK march!

“What?”

“How can you say that?!” “If you make prints, then it loses all value as art!”  “What is it you want to do with your life?”

“Seriously? Ok…. let’s cover all grounds.  Yes, I think it’s great… because now not only did you sell your image, but now you have a steady stream of royalties coming in with every sale this person makes, so now you have money to pay for your shelter/studio where you can make the rest of the pieces that won’t be worth a thing until after you die!  Additionally, every sale this guy makes gets your work seen by more people, and thus is marketing for you!”

“As far as what I want to do? I want to be a commercial artist. That means I want to make my money before I’m dead! So clearly I’m in the wrong place!” I walked out of class, and immediately called my older brother and asked what the best way to tell Mom & Dad that I’m dropping out, I’m clearly wasting my time here.

To end this story, my folks came with a pick-up truck, and towed my station wagon (which I had sort of destroyed, and we had now used as a trailer to carry all my belongings in) back to South Florida.

When I later went to the Art Institute of Ft. Lauderdale (another place I don’t recommend.  That’s an even longer story.), and had my own labs on Saturdays (10am- midnight. Anything computer related: photoshop, illustrator, animator, coreldraw, 3d studio (3ds max wasn’t out yet), lightwave (which the school wasn’t teaching… but if you used it, I’d teach it), and whatever other cheeseball 3d apps they had), and taught many classes for the school, and led DART (Digital Arts Research Team), the students that had the most problems with using computers were UF Fine Arts graduates.  They were all brain washed into believing  that if it’s done on a computer, it can’t be art, and thus they had serious internatl struggle!

The reason I put that last giant paragraph in normal text color (black), even though it’s part of my flashback, is because it is definitely part of my Sid & Go dissertation!  Think about it!  These people were giving their trust and money to a famous school.

The school’s internationally renowned faculty had taught them what they knew… and they believed it all. These were truths that belonged to someone else, not them, as they did not come upon them by their own experiences, but rather were taught them (That’s basically the entire point of Siddhartha by the way).  These beliefs later would become counter productive for their goals in life.

So, like Sid, I told my folks that I wasn’t down with my expected path, but would pursue my own path…. and like Sid, I told the well known institution that I call bullshit on their truth.  I left my Art Institute Friends behind and went on to California to discover a better teacher.

The Ferryman that Jaime was talking about was the next major character that Sid came across, and couchsurfed with. He was chill, wise, and accepted friendship as payment. Sounds like many of my couches– I’ll say more on that later, as compared to now, because like my couches, Sid comes back later.

Sid got to the other side of the river, and the first person he comes across Kamala, a babe who knows how to play the game.  I’ll just say it… Kamala is a courtesan- a woman who had a nice house with servants, nice belongings, all for sex.  So, it’s not exactly a high-fee prostitute – although that’s what she was – because the courting rituals were important. You know, she had regulars, and the gifting process was important.

Another piece of reflection: Shortly after leaving UF, I dated this chick Jeannie for a little bit.  She was from Texas, soft spoken with a southern drawl. I met her online (although, I later found out that it was her mother’s doing… The mom pretended to be Jeannie, in order to set us up.), back before meeting people online was considered safe, cool, or normal.  Guess I was a trend setter, eh?

So Jeannie told me she’s a cocktail waitress at Thunder Alley.  I never heard of this place, but she never wanted me to visit her at this place (my fake ID would’ve worked just fine!), which I later found out that she had started there as a cocktail waitress, but was pressured/promoted to a topless dancer.  **I’ve never told this story before.  Amazing the shit that comes out when you write freestyle, honestly, and find a good book to write about.

Her mom(Jeannie, not Kamala… who’s mother was never mentioned in the novel) was on disability, complete with wearing depends (bad joke I tell: What does 90 year old vagina smell like?  *shrug* “Depends!”).  The mom would smoke a carton every day or two!  I shit you not.  Their small place reeked of cigarettes, and was in a ghetto part of town, near the freeway off of  I95 and State Road 84.

Jeannie didn’t like being a waitress (I still thought she was a waitress), and couldn’t stand that her mom used all her disability funds on cigarettes…. she wanted a better life for them, and missed Texas.  She took a job as an escort.  There was no talking her out of it, although when she had a breakdown, threw stuff at her mom, and got on a grayhound to Texas, she told me that any decent guy would have talked her out of it.

I had tried very hard, but despite being a very persuasive individual, I had not succeeded…. mostly because I didn’t have a better solution on how to raise money (That was clearly another era of my life– another theme from Siddhartha). I was 18 at the time, and having a beautiful, polite, and sweet girl to spend time with seemed very important.  My list of qualifications has since evolved, but at the time, despite not being able to talk her out of becoming an escort, I did not break up because of it.

It was strange, hearing about her days – or more appropriately, nights – at work. She made a lot of money.  She’d often come home with $600 or more a night.  She told me how it works, and I was even considering joining… but decided against it when the first thing she told me her boss said was “The most common request we get for guys is to join couples. Not just for the woman either.”

Jeannie told me about how many of these guys didn’t want to touch her… they just wanted someone to talk to.  They wanted someone that they felt was listening, as apparently, their wives didn’t do much listening.  In return, she not only got paid, but they bought her lots of gifts: lingerie, electronics, fancy clothes…. I remember we went to The Swapshop – this ginormous flea market in South Florida, complete with circus, drive-in movie theatre, and of course, tons of vendors. She was definitely happy when she could buy whatever she wanted…. but then again, she wasn’t all that happy when she couldn’t live with herself because of where the money came from.  See my earlier note about having a breakdown, ditching her mom (who was the pressure for having more money I suspect), and hopping the bus to Texas.

Back to Sid! He ran across Kamala (oh yeah… freaky shit– after dreaming that Buddha had morphed into a woman, and let him drink all sorts of goodness from his breast), remembered his dream, and decided that despite being ascetic (giving up all pleasures), maybe their truth of giving up stuff is another one of those things they got wrong.  He almost made out with her, but as is the ascetic way, he went away.

Being a Shramana, he had no belongings, was dirty, greasy, had a beard, and wore a loin cloth.  He decided that like my UF experience (well… Hesse didn’t mention my UF experience, but you know what I mean), those peoples’ truth was not his, and it’s time to evolve.  He ditched his loin cloth and beard, combed his hair…. you know.. complete makeover.

He came back to her, and told Kamala that he wants to learn the ways of passion from her.

This discussion was a bit boring, as they sure do say Shramana a lot!  You could turn it into a drinking game!  One shot every time they say Shramana, One shot every time they say Brahmin, and two shots every time they mention Gotama (Buddah)!

Basically, they agree that he doesn’t own anything, and if you wanna get some courtesan action, you need nice shoes… and gifts.

More reflection: (which I’m not going into, as it’s too recent, and not as insightful as many of the others) I recently was reminded that some people care more about money than others.  You need nice shoes, and gifts or it won’t last.  Like Sid’s journey, we all must learn who we are, and what our values are. Something for you and your someone special to consider: even with similar values, different people communicate love differently.  For some it’s gifts, for others it’s verbal, for others it’s physical. You can learn more about that, and figure out which one you are, and which one your significant other is… it really helps you communicate affection so they understand it… at 5 love languages.

Yup, they spoke of shoes a lot, and said Shramana a lot. Sid told Kammie that he can easily make money…. you know, the ol’ “How hard can it be?” She mocked him about not being a merchant, and what could he possibly offer.  He mentioned patience, and being able to fast, and being able to do sacrifices (a very handy resume piece!).  She was impressed that he knew how to read and write.  Apparently, not everyone knew how to do that, so she hooked him up with a merchant.

The merchant’s name is Kamaswami, and he was able to use Sid’s skills in reading and writing for his business, as he was older, and his eyesight fading.

Tiny reflection: The people I’ve couchsurfed with have often connected me with other people…. sometimes other people I can couchsurf with, sometimes people I can do business with, or projects for. My random skill set from all my past journeys (running a print shop, being a 3d animator/video editor/graphic designer/web designer/ programmer/photographer/compositor/motion graphics designer/artist/etc) have all come in useful… despite the many times I’ve thought that I had left those things behind.

Kamaswami agreed to let Sid crash his couch, and he hooked him up with nice shoes so that he could get some action.  Actually, he gave him nice clothes so he could become a merchant and work with him.

Sid’s skills from all the different social circles he’s partied with in the past had made him successful in being a merchant.  Not because he cared about being a merchant, but because he was a good person.  People do business with those that they know, like, and trust… so where Kamaswami was pissed off when Sid would go on a road trip, and not come back with the rice or other supplies he was supposed to get, Sid knew that because he got to know the people – rather than hurrying back upon seeing someone beat him to the sale – that they would be happy to do biz with him in the future, since now he’s a friend.

I think that piece is why I can survive on my journey… ’cause I’m just happy to get to know people… whether I can do business with them right now or not. One day I’m couchsurfing, the next we’re going to NASCAR together VIP Style, the next I’m building their ecommerce site… the next I’m driving through a few states just go hang out with them low-key for my birthday, because they are my friends, and whom I want to spend my special day with.

Sid’s Shramana ways keep him from being obsessed with business, but after a long while of getting it on with Kammie, and kicking ass at business, he starts to forget his former life, starts liking his house and servants, and entertaining people, and gambling…. oh yeah, he totally becomes an addict.

Sid becomes miserable…. He wins at gambling because he’s fine with losing it all… he kind of does this to try and lose it all, to prove that his ascetic ways are still intact…. and regular people don’t deal well with people who are unpredictable, trying to lose, and have a lot of money to gamble.

After years, he sees Kammie one last time, and then skips town, practically suicidal, and leaving all his stuff. Oh yeah… he knocked her up before skipping town- but she had foreshadowed that this would happen, so it’s cool.  And they totally loved each other.  She was in fact that only thing he cared about the entire 20 years he was in the city.  Reflection for all of us:  what have we done that’s against our nature for that special someone?

He woke up after the deepest sleep he’s ever had…. thinking he may’ve died.

Life didn’t suck anymore.  He had nothing, but he was fine with that.  He heard “Om” – you know, that sound you do in Yoga or meditation!  It used to be a big part of his life when he was younger (he actually grew up next to the riverbank, so both Om and the River were a big deal), and now he kind of heard it from the river he was next to.

More interestingly, he had a creepy stalker watching him sleep!  Ok… it wasn’t a creepy stalker, it was a well intentioned Buddhist… which turned out to be Govinda!

Go was now a yellow-robe-wearing skinhead.

Go didn’t realize that it was Sid he was watching sleep… he was just trying to be nice, and protect a passed out dude from snakes, or other nasty critters that may kill him in the woods.  Since Sid was dressed like a rich dude, rather than his old loin-cloth set up, and his hair smelled nice, Go didn’t realize who it was, and that the sleeping guy actually knew how to survive the woods.

Sid thanked Go for watching him, and they said goodbye, but then Sid gave away who he is, by saying “farewell Govinda!” They catch up, and both claim to be on Pilgrimage… but Go has issue with this, as Sid doesn’t look like a Pilgrim, as much as a successful businessman.  I’ll actually use a REAL quote from the book, ’cause it’s awesome:

“I believe you, my dear Govinda. But now, today, you’ve met a pilgrim just like this, wearing such shoes, such a garment. Remember, my dear: Not eternal is the world of appearances, not eternal, anything but eternal are our garments and the style of our hair, and our hair and bodies themselves. I’m wearing a rich man’s clothes, you’ve seen this quite right. I’m wearing them, because I have been a rich man, and I’m wearing my hair like the worldly and lustful people, for I have been one of them.”

“And now, Siddhartha, what are you now?”

I can’t speak for you, but I’d like to think that we’ve all been different people.  We’ve worn different clothes (seriously… look at the 80′s!), had different jobs.  I’ve been fat, I’m currently at the thinnest I’ve been.  I’ve had a nice car, motorcycle, and a nice highrise on the bay in South Beach….. I’ve also worn hideous clothes, and lived in a tiny roach-infested apartment that cost $300 per month while I was studying 3d in california (after the Art Institute).  I’ve been confident, I’ve been shy.  I’ve been happy, and I’ve been sad.  People from my past are often surprised to realize who I am when they happen upon me… the only thing permanent is my corny sense of humor, and my creativity.

Govinda had said “WHAT are you now”– I dig that…. ’cause I deal with that question daily.  What am I?  A traveler, an author, a consultant, an adventurer, a public speaker, an entertainer, a designer, a friend, a lover, a consultant, a salesperson….. our experiences overlap each other, but it really helps to know our values. When we know what we want to be, we can take steps to become that.

Go was confused at that notion.  Like so many close minded people, it seemed to him absurd that one can just ditch one life, and choose another…. That one can go from beggar to rich dude, and back to peasantry… voluntarily… blew his mind.

I deal with this on a daily basis, as I try to help people move from where they are, to where they want to be. Some people don’t believe that they can travel, despite wanting to.  Others make the change- my dear friend Kathryn (whom I only met in early March of this year), is 2 days away from her one-way flight to Guatamala. She just sold her car today.  She will volunteer at some schools there, but also make sure to experience the adventures that the country has to offer, and then head south, until she finally gets to Chille, and then take a cruise to Antartica.  After that is will probably be Africa.  She’s invited me to join her in Guatamala, Brazil, Costa Rica, Cuba, and of course, on the cruise…. not bad for someone who until recently only went to work, and came home.

I believe that people want to live the amazing lives they can have…. but most people are afraid of change.  The Govindas of our lives try to hold us back by questioning our sanity, and introducing a stream of “What if”s.  We have to stay strong, and do what we believe is right… sometimes losing those friends.

Well intentioned friends and family believe they are saving us, protecting us… but often times they just don’t want you to succeed with that new business or relationship (or whatever ) because if you succeed, there’s a pressure on them to better themselves too, and people fear that.  So, if you don’t take the chance, they don’t have to move out of their comfort zone.  This is not all my opinion by the way.  It’s  been discussed by most people who teach the psychology of achievement, and self development.  I say that, ’cause I will not debate you over this…. But the following scenario is pretty much a daily piece of conversation:

Them: Oh my god, I love what you do!  I wish I could travel like that!

Me: You can!

Them: I wish… it’s easy for you to say, but I ____________ (have kids, have a job, don’t have a lot of money, or any of a million other excuses… and trust me, they are excuses)!

Me: But you can!  Watch… just ____________  (logical strategy session where I connect them with people who travel with children, do their job remotely, have no money, but still travel.  I then help them figure out how they can get to travel the way the want, do the things they want, etc… and I give them resources on how to take each step.)!

Generally, they look dreamily at the possibility, then remember their life as it is, as compared to how it can or should be… and decline the chance to live happily.

“I’ll just live vicariously through you!”

I wish Kathryn would blog more often.  The conversations we have on the phone are very exciting and inspiring for me too. Make sure to check out Kathryn’s Blog, The Social Caterpillar. She is a great writer, doesn’t tell the stupid jokes that I take so much pride in telling, and maybe will inspire you in a way that I haven’t been able to.  If nothing else, she’s an awesome person that you can get to know…. one of so many amazing people that if I hadn’t followed my own path, I never would have met.

Govinda took off. He didn’t want to start a fight after Siddhartha had expressed that we change, and can be whatever.

Sid got on his way, and ran into the Ferryman again.  This time he offered to give him his fancy clothes as payment.  The Ferryman was surprised, and finally remembered who Sid was… from 20 years prior.  Sid told him that he wants to apprentice with him. They became roomies, learned from the river, and from their wealth of knowledge, rumors started flowing that there’s these two prophets / wisemen that operate the boat.

They made listening to the river popular.

Everything was peachy, until Buddah was on his way out… as in dying.

Kammie had heard Sid talk about how awesome and enlightened Buddah was, so since she closed up shop after Sid left, she wanted to seek enlightenment by talking to him. She took baby Sid, and got on the road.

I have no reflection about babies… but I’ve seen in myself and others that hope… be it true or false.  The hope that “If I just_______, everything will be better!”

I too can have enlightenment if I read that book, take that course, get on Oprah, make that new demo reel…… the things I’ve heard or come up with is never ending…. It’s also extremely profitable for Trainers/Speakers/Info-product creators… I won’t be a dick and name drop, but I’ve seen friends drop all their money on going to every course that so and so has (at a cost of 5 to 6 figures, that they didn’t have).

Blame can not be placed on those that sell the hope, as if they don’t sell you the hope of an easy solution, then someone else will…. religious institutions included.

It doesn’t all have to do with parting with money.  Some people make excuses for exiting relationships, or any number of things…. “If we have a kid, then things will work out between us!”

*Sigh*

I like the wisdom of my friend Jason Moffatt (who’s house I’m currently house-sitting): Figure out who your teacher is, and don’t check out anyone else until you’ve done what they said.

He’s right… there’s so many recipes for success out there, and many of them work… if you do the work, as compared to starting with them, taking a few steps, and then deciding that what so and so said sounds sexier, so I should do what they said, and not complete what the first person told me.

Jason is one of the most interesting people that I’ve ever met.  He has so many exciting stories from discovering his own path.  He does just fine, does what he wants, when he wants, and is definitely not a stuck up asshole. He’s funny, supportive, and positive.  Currently, he is on a 6 week road trip with an equally funny hottie.  Check out His page, and you may learn a thing or three (and be entertained).

Does it seem like I’m just rewording Herman Hesse’s work, just so I can pimp out my friends?  If you think so, then you’re missing the point!

Other than Jeannie (whom I do not have a page to link to anyways), most of the people I mention are people that I’ve couchsurfed with.  They ARE my close friends, and I treasure them– as part of my journey, part of my life, business resources, incredible people, inspiration, friendship,, and people who keep me going… They are no Govindas!

I also mention them, because I said earlier that I would speak of my couches…. You see, like the Ferryman- whom only after revisiting after 20 years did  Siddhartha discover his name, Vasudeva — our paths have crossed, and often recrossed.

Where I relate to Siddhartha, Jaime (whom is not one of my couches actually) related to Vasudeva.  She brings people to their destination without judgement, whereas I keep traveling, steadily reducing my belongings as I discover more and more truths.

There is a Zen saying, “Every man is my teacher, in that I can learn something from him.” – I have learned so much from these people, about life, business, myself, and every other topic under the sun.  Equally, I am always happy to impart what wisdom I have to offer…. recently, it was offered as showing someone what they don’t want in a relationship… and I learned from that person the same… as well as the things that I do want.  Those Zen folks sure know their shit!

Ok… Siddhartha… let’s fast forward- Kammie gets bitten by a snake, does not get to see Buddah, but gets to see Sid one last time. She dies, he gets the kid. The kid’s a dipshit, and wants to do his own thing, no matter how nice Big Sid is about everything.

Big Sid, who could never really love anyone or anything, finally had something he loved… his little baby… and now he gets to experience the misery that his dad got to experience– loving his kid enough to try to protect him. Until finally the kid runs away, steals his money, steals his boat, and wrecks it.

Despite Vasudeva pointing out to him what a dumbass he’s being, Sid doesn’t want to give up on Little Sid, and tries to find him.  But then he sees the city, remembers everything he’d been through, remembers how he blew his dad off, and never came back…. to pursue his own truth… We’re talking total flashback here…. especially the part about being a gambler, and rich, and having orgies… yeah! I forgot to mention orgies earlier, Sid had ‘em.  He felt ill, and again, remembered the Om, and realized he needed to let the kid go (see earlier cliche about “if it comes back it was meant to be”).

He goes back to the Ferrymen, they live happily ever after… until Vasudeva dies.

Sure enough, as all cliche characters do, Govinda shows up right on time…. and, as previously, he again did not recognize Siddhartha!

They talk of searching, and Govinda says that he’s been searching, and is still searching… and maybe the ferryman (now Sid) has some wisdom about searching.  Sid tells him that he’s just searching too hard.

Like most people who are not willing to take their journey, Go still doesn’t get it.

Sid invites Go to come couchsurf with him, and he does.  I had people that I’ve couchsurfed with come couchsurf with me.  It’s wonderful to be able to return the perspective and hospitality.

Before bailing, Go asks if Sid’s got any teachers or beliefs.  He is floored and in disbelief when he hears that Sid learned from a ferryman, from the river, from a hooker…. He was expecting people more enlightened than Buddha, not non-celebs…. Sid even mentioned the gamblers! Go really thought Sid was messing with him.

Siddhartha gives a wonderful explanation of change and truth… that knowledge can be passed on, but not wisdom.  He gives a ton of examples, and Go just doesn’t get it.  The ending is basically the point of the whole novel.

Speaking of novels, what I intended to be a few paragraphs has now evolved into its own novel…. so I shall end it with my final thoughts (it’s 5:30am, and I’ve been writing this for near 7 hours– which might account for the length of this post.).

When I started listening to the book, I was a bit bored.  I persisted, and got through the whole thing. It grew on me part of the way through, and despite that being only 24 hours ago, the book has grown on my by leaps and bounds…. It has made me reflect on my life. We come and go.  We go through different phases…. teachers and students.  Guests and hosts.  It is an evolution… the seasons of life, some would say.

Like Siddhartha, I felt an itch to find my own truth.  I defied my parents’ concept of what my life should be, and have been on a long quest for truth and inner peace.  I have learned from the various teachers… some of them are not people that others would have expected me to learn from.

On my journey I’ve discovered something… Me! I know who I am better than I ever did.  Because I know what’s important to me, I now follow the path that I believe leads to my happiness, and I’ve learned about Karma, people, and the world, and am a much better person than I was before. I’m a lot more helpful, and a connector.

Despite my many jobs, lifestyles, etc… being in the past, they are all a part of who I am, and still surface once in a while.

We have to be willing to ditch our comfort zones, even if we lose friends, wealth, or other things in the process.

We need to experience everything, so we can have a perspective on it– we need to learn from everything.  The only failure is a failure to learn from a win or a loss.

I could go on and on with lessons I’ve learned… and that’s part of what I’m doing with my book that I’m writing now (you can sign up on the right side of this site).

If you enjoyed this post, share it with whomever you like, and leave a comment.

Remember, you can read the entire book for free on Gutenberg: http://www.gutenberg.org/files/2500/2500-h/2500-h.htm – or get it on audio book, or paperback from your favorite reseller.

Thanks Jaime… for being a muse, a teacher, a friend, a connector, and opening my mind to a book that I would probably never have read otherwise.  Amazing what can happen in 1 day.