Lack of focus and purpose causes depression.

Yes, that's me, and I"m blonde

This is not a scientific study.  Just my observations on happiness.

I’ve been feeling sad, tired, and lazy lately.  Not that there’s a shortage of things to do!  I’ve been doing tasks, and there’s plenty more to do.  But.. I’ve been low on energy, and haven’t been social, exercising, or having a regular schedule. I thought it was because I haven’t been going out and seeing any friends, etc… Maybe because I’m at home (yeah.. I’m at my place right now, packing it up, and getting it rented out, so I can be on the road full time.  I thought I wanted my stuff to be in its place, and not have to be in storage…. but in truth, I haven’t missed my stuff, and even when I got back here after 10 months, I still didn’t touch any of it), and not on the road.  But I think I was mistaken.

I noticed a massive spike in energy and joy as soon as I found a purpose.  I’m not necessarily talking about “My purpose on this planet is to _________” (though… according to my strengthsfinder tests, my purpose on this planet is to consult, and to find creative solutions to peoples’ problems), but rather “This guy owns a seafood restaurant, and I need to give him concrete action steps he can use to obliterate his comeptition, get good PR, and build up a list of people who want to be marketed to by him.” — as soon as that challenge was there, I didn’t care about packing, or reading the book I was reading… I was on a mission!  I was up through the night.  I was teaching him which tools to use, and giving him lists of people to contact, and telling him how to contact them.  I taught him quickly how to brand his transmissions, and how to fill up his restaurant during the slow times.  It’s amazing what you can do in a few hours!  I’ll know in 3 days how well my master plan worked!

The point isn’t the plan.  It’s the fact that as soon as I had something to do for someone – something that required my specific talents – I was happy.  It was as if I hadn’t been tired at all.  I lost track of time, was smiling, was even dancing to the music that was playing on TheSixtyOne (no… I didn’t get up… just bouncing my head like yeah… :p ).

This is a regular theme in my life… feeling like I’m bipolar or something… being so happy most of the time, but then being sad.  The world often doesn’t know, though some friends have noticed a minor change in vocabulary (instead of “Woo Hoo! It’s Morning! What adventures are you having today?”  I might say “Hey. What’s up?”  – For “how are you?” I might answer” “I’m ok” instead of “Supergood! But I”m getting better!” (got that one from Zig Ziglar)).  Like everyone else, I have bills, drama, relationship successes and failures, and good ol’ fashioned good/bad moods… but it’s the lack of a current focus or purpose that brings me down.  Have you ever had that happen to you?

Do you feel you have a purpose?  Are you working on what excites you?  Ever notice this pattern in you, or is it just me?