Hell Run can go to Hell

adventure, business, product review, rant, Scam Warning Add comments

hellrun.com-Leaping over FireI love serendipity – So many insane stories of it lately, that I can barely keep up.  Running in the HellRun.com Hell Run obstacle race was one of those things…..

One minute I’m being reminded that I said I’d run in an obstacle race, and have not taken any action on it (i.e. flaked out), and 2 hours later, I get a text out of the blue asking if I can run in an obstacle race to cover for my friend who already bought the ticket.

Yup.  I love serendipity.

What I don’t love however, is people not delivering on their promises. And Hell Run certainly did not do that!

You see, on their website, they have photos of people covered in mud… yet nobody got anything more than their ankles muddy… and even that was weak.

I’ll tell you the things they did, but when I get to the last one, you’ll see why I bothered to  write this post!

The “Raging River” — that was more of “The Stangnant Cesspool”!  It was a very smelly pond… nothing about it resembled a river, and the only thing about Rage was my nose’s reaction to the stench… or the thought that all these people paid $90 to run in this overhyped race.

Even the KISS tribute band sucked… and only played about 3 songs again and again.

The “Titan Tunnel” which looks on the website to be a concrete tube, was actually a few boxes made from cheap wood, that had a circular hole cut in the front and back.

There were fewer obstacles than they made it out to sound like.  The obstacles were quite lame.  I could have walked over the fire.

Leaping over fire at Hell Run by Hellrun.com

The "Real" photo- not nearly as cool as the photoshopped one

You get a drink ticket… they had 2 drinks: Michelob Ultra, and Budweiser.  Your drink ticket only gets you a Michelob Ultra… if you chose a Budweiser for your drink, then you get to pay $5.

Many people complained that there were not enough water stations along the way.

Now, I did have 2.5 weeks to train to get ready for this… and I was running on flat ground at about 11:40 per mile… which I was all right with.  It’s not an 8 minute mile, but that’s ok…. it as better than my 15 minute miles.

So I run this race, and it is not flat ground.  It is hot.  It is humid.  There are lots of rocks….

This is not at all like what I was training on, and to top it off, I launched fast out of the gate, to beat other people from the get-go.

The end result was that I ended up doing a bunch of walking.  Additional time was spent by going through the obstacles…

You can imagine my surprise when after this race which was in no way hellacious or scary or anything like what they promoted… that my run time was reported to me as 11 minute miles.

How the heck could I have walked, and climbed obstacles, and been running hills instead of flat ground, and still beat my best time by 40 seconds?

Something reeked of brimstone (get it? a hell joke)!

I mentioned this to my friends that ran, and they too mentioned that their time seemed way too generous.  Additionally, they informed me that they went onto the HellRun fanpage, and saw that many people were complaining about misrepresentation, and crappy obstacles.

What’s worse, is that the Hell Run people then deleted all the comments up until before (people got to experience the underwhelming obstacles) the race… and changed the page settings to disallow comments.

So… if you are looking for a good race, I hear good things about Tough Mudder, and Warrior Dash.  Hell Run is not one that I would recommend.  It’s weak, and I believe they should give people their money back.

One last gripe… I’ve been meaning to get a nice cape… with all the helping of people that I’m doing lately, there’s been a lot of superhero jokes.  So… when I saw that they give us a cape for participating, I was excited.

What they gave us may be good for a rag… I would not wear it to save anyone.  *sigh*

In summary (and the reason that this is marked in the business category) – Do not misrepresent.  If you promise the world, and not even deliver a block, people will be upset.  If I didn’t do well on the race, I would’ve been ok with that… but them lying on the race times is a lie…. it doesn’t make me feel better about my run times, it makes me upset that I do not know how long it really took me.  If you screw up, and underdeliver, let people vent, do not delete their posts…. give them a ticket to the next race for free.  Do right by people.  Do not lie, and try to cover it up…..  Doing that is what causes blog posts like this that let the whole world know that you are not to be trusted.

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