Driving from Chicago to Omaha in snow was scary’ish… I thought I was tough shit for driving through a snow storm. A snowstorm that had just started, and was flurrying. That is child’s play compared to the storm I drove through from Omaha, Nebraska to Salt Lake City, Utah. Oh my F’in god! This was difficult! Most of the drive I had no cell phone reception… so… I called people, and said “Oh yeah… this is a tough drive… slippery roads… rough flurries to the point where I can’t see — especially when I’m behind a giant truck. Good thing I got into that accident in January, so I learned how to drive on ice…. just tap the gas to re initiate traction, turn into the swerve, and you’re good to go!” — This WAS the case. There were so many times I lost traction and managed to restore it by doing the previously mentioned tactic. I nearly lost it a few times when trying to pass some trucks! They blew up so much snow, that I couldn’t see the road! Then there were times when it was just dark, windy, and you couldn’t even see where the hell the road was! Following old tracks was the only way to guess where the road was! Even worse, there were tracks that led off the road, but seemed like they were the road… a few close calls on that. I passed a rolled over van… a rolled over 18 wheeler…. and… then there was a pickup truck that was 1/2 way on my lane, while there was another car on the right lane…. I slammed the brakes when I saw that I was barely going to make it between them… the car skid…. I barely made it between the two — thank goodness for antilock. A little further down, and I actually ran out of traction…. tried to pump the gas, as previously thought to reclaim traction…. guess what? It didn’t work!! I spun out, faced the wrong way, saw my life flash before me (I’m just kidding… I know I’ll never die), and ended up in a ditch on the inner median…. facing the wrong way… *Sigh* No cell phone reception, can’t call triple A. Not many cars driving by. Car’s still on, that’s a good sign. I didn’t flip… that’s a great sign. I’m in pretty deep snow. So, I drove forward and up, it sort of worked. It was easy to head downhill, but difficult to head uphill. I managed to face the direction I was supposed to go, and I floored it. Gee.. what smells like burning tires? My tires were spinning out, but there was not much forward movement. I put it in reverse, and then tried moving forward in 1st gear. That didn’t do jack! So… I floored it again, and moved forward some. Rocking the car back and forth seemed to do the trick! I had made it almost onto the road, and finally flooring it moved me onto the road, and… completely onto the other side of the road, as my tires were all completely coated in ice/snow, and had 0 traction. I backed up, and drove at like 5 miles an hour. Driving without traction is kind of fun… but scary’ish. The truckers were the worst part… not because of them… just the giant clouds of snow they leave behind.

The road seemed to get worse when I entered Wyoming. there was more ice, and it was really bumpy. At this point, I slowed down, and was driving at only 40-50 miles an hour. I put on my audio books, and listened to some Dale Carnegie book I’d heard in the past. Whoops. There was a Brian Tracy book on accomplishing goals, and my copy of Steven Covey’s “7 skills of highly successful people” seemed to have gotten corrupt somehow. I pulled over, turned on my laptop, and loaded some marketing seminars on the ipod nano (I gave Angela my original Ipod 40GB. It works great, and was filled with audio books, but I can’t stand that display compared to the one on my nano… and… I’ve broken it before by taking it jogging. A portable harddrive is not designed to be shaken for 9 miles at a time).

The Ipod reminds me– want to know a great use of your tax dollars? Angela was dating this guy, Ryan Bales, who was addicted to drugs… she called his parents because she got sick of supporting his ass… and he was wasting away. She later lent his brother, Ryan Bales, her Ipod (with Video) that she was given as a gift (even has her name inscribed), and he decided to keep it. He had originally told her that he’d buy it from her if he was going to keep it, but of course he hadn’t. This guy Ryan is a real piece of work. He got caught dealing drugs at the airforce base he was stationed at, and got kicked out of the military. Because they didn’t offer him rehab or anything like that, he now gets $800 a month, for the rest of his life! He says if he wasn’t lazy, and spent the time fighting it further, he could’ve gotten $2,400 a month for the rest of his life! When he was in the wrong! I’m pretty pissed off that some guy is getting 10′s of thousands of dollars for getting caught in a crime. Aren’t they supposed to charge him that much? The thing that sucks, is that I’m sure he’s not the only one. Oh well.. back to the story of my drive.

With my nano charged up, and loaded up with good marketing material, I resumed the drive through 6 to 11 degree weather. Wyoming had a lot more hills than Nebraska. There was a lot of downhill, and occasionally my car would skid a tiny bit. I was keeping it slow this time, and it was already 2am. I was supposed to get to Utah at 2am, but instead made it at 8:30am. At 1am, I pulled into a gas station for some gas and caffeine. I was thrilled to see that they had Irish Cream flavored cappuccino! You can find cappuccino machines at every gas station in the country almost (and I get a cup at most)… but the flavors vary. French Vanilla, Cappuccino, and English Toffee are the most frequent flavors. Irish Cream I’ve only seen twice. They only had the small (16 oz) cups, and I wanted a large. This guy Patrick was working the store, and was really helpful, and funny. He refilled the 24oz cups, and even told me a joke I didn’t know – which feels rare:

So this kid comes home from school, and hears a noise in his parents’ bedroom. He goes to investigate, and there’s his folks going at it. His dad sees him, and gives him a thumbs up and a big smile. The kid leaves. The next day, the dad comes home from work, and hears a noise from the kid’s room. He goes to investigate, and sees the kid having sex with the grandmother! The kid sees the dad, flashes a big smile and a thumbs up. The dad signals the kid to come over, and starts stammering “You know that this is wrong!” The kid replies “Yeah… not so cool when it’s YOUR mom, eh?”

Patrick was awesome. He heard what I was doing, and said I can have a couch there. He lives right near the gas station, and gets off work in an hour. I was thrilled! I mean, this could save me 7 hours (at the time I thought it’d be 4) of driving through the snow and ice in the dark! He only had to call to check if it’s ok with his woman. Turns out it wasn’t. *sigh* I was just calling my folks to tell them the good news, when I got the bad news. It’s ok, at least I had my Irish Cream cappuccino in a large cup.

As I kept driving, I saw a neat sight! There was some kind of facility that had a massive chimney or something, that was spouting off a non-stop ball of fire! I love fire, as y’all know, and I like interesting things in general. I tried to take a photo, but was a bit far. Moving closer should solve the problem, and there was an exit coming up. I pulled on to the exit, and pulled slightly off the road to take a photo. This was lame! My car was stuck in the snow again. I was barely off the road. Rocking the car would prove useful again. Screw it… I’m going to stay on the road from now on. I drove towards the facility, and took photos. It seems that this is the town of Sinclair — as in the gas station by the same name. Population? 423 people! The fireball kept going, and I really enjoyed driving around there and seeing it from different angles.

U-turn, bridge, back on the road. More snow. More ice. More trucks. Lots of truckers sleeping on the side of the road at these rest-stops, which are basically just a large driveway for the truckers. I stopped at one of these at 5am until 5:20 — just a 20 minute power nap. Not even sure if I slept, as my car was so full that I couldn’t lean the chair back. The show must go on. By sunrise, I was pulling into Utah, and seeing these beautiful mountains, and lakes, and cabins. Angela called me, angry that I haven’t called her.. she’s been worried. I reminded her that I agreed to call when I got there… but I haven’t got there yet!

In case you didn’t know, Salt Lake City is mapped out as a grid, based around the temple. Street adresses are based on 2 streets. So, 4800 South 900 East might be an address. My GPS doesn’t know how to enter these coordinates. It can read them, as when I looked up local businesses it showed the 2 streets… but for typing it in… no luck. A few phone calls, and I made it… just in time to take a small nap. I’ll tell you who Couch 61 is in the next post.