Before getting into the day’s crazy adventures, let me add a sequel to the previous night’s creepy camping experience. I sat in my favorite Ashland coffee house (Key of C, on Lithia street.  Homemade bagels, soup, & cookies. Friendly staff, and even friendly clients, whom all come back again and again), and kept wishing I had my earphones.  I couldn’t find them, and after a while I went back to my car, checked inside my sleeping bag, checked all my pockets… no luck.  So.. I went back to where I camped out the night before, and sure enough… found my ipod & earphones dangling from some thorny bush they got snagged on!  Good thing I chose a hidden spot to camp, or someone would’ve found my ipod, and kept it. Small rewind to the morning:  wanted internet, wanted coffee.  Went to Key of C, was wearing my “Tito’s Handmade Vodka” shirt.  Aubrey (the owner) says “Handmade Vodka?? What’s that? Is that like Organic Vodka? ’cause we have one of those here!”  I explained how awesome Tito’s Vodka is (that’s a whole other post), and offered her some, “since I have a whole case in my car.”  “well, you can sell me some.” “no, I absolutely can not!  But I can give you some.” “Well, I can’t just take it.”  We decided that we’d barter.  I’d get a bunch of food, she’d get a pint of Vodka.  I think we both got a good trade. Anyways- read on… this feels like real people adventure:

Oh, the universe… funny how things work out, right?  So… I’m working on my goals.  One of my goals that I wrote was to clean my car.  You may think your car is messy, but I would bet good money that I make you look like an amateur.  I broke it down into a few levels- the 1st of which is “Make room for a passenger”- yes, even the passenger seat / floor were covered in stuff.  The next level was to organize the car… and the ultimate car cleanliness is to put a bunch of crap that I don’t need in storage (If I haven’t touched it my whole journey, chances are I won’t need it now either).  Two minutes after I write this, some girl goes up to me and says “Do you have a car?”  I look up at her… she’s blonde, looks a little dumb (You’re thinking “Ori, you judgemental asshole, how can someone just look dumb? This better not be another lame blonde joke!” — it’s not.. she just had this weird far-away look in her eyes, was poorly dressed (even by laid-back town standards), and her speaking patterns supported the theory.  Rather than judging me for being judgemental (oh, the hypocrisy.. I know), just keep reading), has stretch marks all over, missing a few teeth (not just missing… but has some green around the gaps) “Yes.”  “Can I get a ride to Medford? My friends ditched me.”  Now, whether I’m judgemental or not, my trip is highly dependant on the kindness of others, so I immediately said yes…. despite having a bad gut feeling.  I mean.. who just walks up to some dude (who’s working on his laptop next to a river) that they don’t know, and asks for a ride? Here’s the funny part- she then asked if I can wait a few minutes!  I said this would be ideal, as I have a lot of crap to clear out of the front seat.  I told her where my car was, packed up my laptop, and went to clean up my car.  Within 10 minutes, step 1 of my car-cleaning strategy was complete!  A passenger could fit.  “Where am I taking you?”  “To my Dad’s” “Great… what’s his number?  I’ll call and ask if it’s cool if I give you a ride.”  “I’m 19, I don’t need permission.  Anyways… he doesn’t care.  Well.. he does, but… I’m pregnant, and I don’t feel like walking” (Medford is about a 25 minute drive). Now, this girl wants to use my phone.  She’s calling her friends, and talking about Eric, and how she’s pregnant, and to tell him to meet her tomorrow.  She then tried to get me to call Eric, and if someone else picks up, say that it’s Toby (I asked “what if… “  “who do I say it is?”  etc..).  We hadn’t even gone a block!  I got Eric’s voicemail and did not leave a message.  “So… Eric’s the dad, eh?” “Yeah”  “When’d you find out?”  “2 days ago… when I couldn’t keep any food down, I took a pregnancy test.”  “Congrats… so …. where’d your friends go?”  “They ditched me to go get high on Crystal meth. I didn’t wanna, ’cause lately I’m trying to stay clean, and now that I’m pregnant, I probably should stay clean.”  “yeah… that’s a good idea!” (thought:  ummmm… sounds like you should ditch those lovely people all together if they think that it’s a good idea for a preggo 19 year old to go smoke meth).

Further discussion provided such lovely details as Mrs. X (I never bothered getting her name, and since it was obvious that my gut instinct about this being weird…. so, she’s probably the 1st person on my trip that I never gave a card to.  She never even asked my name) is 19, a little pregnant, lives in The Projects, hears gunshots every night in her neighborhood, and would give anything for some food. “Can you buy me something? I’ll pay you when we get to my place.”  No offense people, but I did not want to stick around her place where people shoot guns off each night long enough to get paid back.  “Sorry… don’t have much funds on me.  I do have these BBQ Chips though!  They’re great, and were going to be my dinner.”  “Your dinner?”  “yeah… they’re great– Lays, Mesquite BBQ Stacks.  Even have a cool container!”  (They really do) “ummm.. ok, thanks.”  drive… drive… drive… “Got anything else?”  “Ummm… do all your friends that you ride with carry a cooler filled with a whole bunch of food?”  “Oh yes.”  “Sorry.  I’m limited to BBQ chips.”  “Got something to drink?”  “1/2 drank bottle of water.”  “I won’t even put it on my lips.  Thanks”  She was fidgeting with my phone.  “Can I see that phone?” “I was trying to text someone.”  Again… not to make stereotypes about meth-addicts that live in the projects… but… I don’t want all of this girl’s friends having my number, and I really did need to make a call!  I was supposed to couchsurf with someone the next day in Medford, so since I was heading there now, I thought I’d see if he was around.  He wasn’t, but… I chatted with him for a bit– again.. a good way to make the drive go by, and keep my cell phone out of “her circle”‘s reach.

An amusing  note– when telling this story to an Ashlandian, I was told that “That’s the reason we call it METHford (you know… instead of Medford?)”.

I dropped Mrs. X off, and me and my remaining Mesquite BBQ chips were off in a hurry.  Once on the freeway,  I saw a hippy-looking dude with a pitbull trying to hitch a ride.  I stopped my car, honked, and drove in reverse to pick him up.  I know… I know…  you’re thinking “Geez Ori!  What if it’s another meth-addict, and don’t pitbulls kill people every day?”  My thought on that is “Well… I just cleared out enough room for a passenger!  Here’s a passenger!  And… if you believe that crap about pittbulls, I feel bad for you.  They are some of the most gentle dogs on the planet (unless you train them to kill, or they occasionally have a nervous breakdown).  Even my mom loves Pittbulls, and she originally believed that crap in the news!”  Oh yeah… back to the hitch hiker.  So… this is my 1st hitch hiker ever.  Again, my trip depends on the kindness of others, so… if I can help others out why not. I put his guitar in the trunk, and his backpack behind my seat.  Him and the dog got in the front, and I welcomed them with Mesquite BBQ chips– they both liked them.

This guy didn’t give me a weird gut feeling, so I introduced myself.  His name is Dan, and the Pitbull is Rascall… or something like that.  “I’m going to Ashland, is that cool?”  “I’m hoping to get to the California state line.. but anything is cool.”  A 5 minute drive brought us to Ashland.  “Ummm… gee… that wasn’t that far.  Tell you what… I’m still waiting to hear back from my couch, so… screw it… Let’s get you to California.”

Dan and I conversed about travels, meth addicts, strange people on the road, and where his Dog came from.  Dan had just gone to see the Grateful Dead in concert in Seattle, and was hitching back.  In Seattle, some guy was wigging out on too much acid, and wanted to go back for his dog and his backpack… but upon arriving at the location, he decided that this is not the place,  despite there being a dog and a backpack there.  A short drive, and the rest of the people had an “Ah-huh!” moment, that most likely, there is not going to be another place that has a dog and a backpack around!  “Are you sure that wasn’t your dog and backpack?”  “maybe”  The guy was sweating so much, and wigging out, and when the van stopped, he took off.  No one knows where.  Dan kept the dog.   I don’t know what happened to the backpack.  Moral?  Don’t eat so much acid… don’t leave your dog.  Give your dog a dog-tag that has your address & phone number.  Don’t leave your dog behind!

I dropped Dan off in California. Not at the border, but a few exits past, since conversation was pleasant, the dog was cute, and the scenery was breathtaking.  Driving through the mountains at sunset is really something.  Everything bathed in the warm gold of the sun, and in front of us (near Lake Shasta if I recall from my drive into Oregon) were white snow-capped mountains.  The usual separation for us brothers-in-travel “Safe travels!  and Dan said he’d contact me once he got on the internet (I had suggested that getting an email address could be useful for keeping in touch with people, and he knew it.  It was no longer just phone numbers that people were giving him.).

I drove back to Ashland, and passed it up accidentally.  I saw that there was a rest stop right outside of town.  That gave me an idea!  After the previous night’s run-in with the mystery person at the place I Was going to camp… I Thought it might be wise to go to a rest-stop, where it would be lit, and no one would call the cops, so I won’t have to hide in the thicket… and there won’t be thorns…  you get the idea.  I went into town, and needed to use the restroom.  Most places were closed, so I walked into Yogurt Hut.  What a concept!  Despite that I wanted to just use the restroom, the gals immediately “Hello Sir, welcome to Yogurt Hut!”  They were so cheerful, one could not help but be happy to be there.. What the heck’s a yogurt hut anyways?  Doesn’t sound very stable… especially on  a hot day :p    “Have you been here before?”  “nope” (And I really just want to use the bathroom, but why don’t you show me what this place is about, so I can then use it?) “I can show you how it works… 1st you take the cup, then you put in the yogurt of your choice, then you…” “Ummm.. you have a bathroom?” Ok.. I got to pee, but I saw the massive amount of different toppings they had.  This place may be worth more than just a pee!  “Ok… so.. that tour?”  “oh yeah…  you take the cup, fill it with the yogurt flavors of your choice, then you put all the toppings you want, and then we weigh it, and it’s $0.39 per ounce.”

I made myself a most delicious treat!  Yogurt flavors: New York Cheesecake, Wild Orange, Totally Raspberry.  Toppings:  Coconut flakes, straweberries, cherries (only a few), Kiwi-fruit, marshmallows, caramel syrup, and white chocolate chips.  Mmmmmmmmmm…. so good!  $5.49, and that was my dinner.  I tried to snag some internet where my new favorite coffee shop was (Key of C), and it worked… but.. all the chairs had been brought in hours prior.  Sitting on the staircase, I tried to catch up on my e-mail.  My phone rang, and I did not recognize the number.  It was Dan!

“Hi… It’s Dan…. you just dropped me off in California a while ago.  Is there any chance that in the morning, you can pick me up, and take me one exit further?  There’s an inspection station, and I can’t hitch on the road like in Oregon, and there’s a state-trooper, and if I try to walk through with my unregistered dog, and it’s a pittbull, and they may Euthenize him.”  “I’m not sure what you just said, but.. heck… what are you doing now?  I can go now, since I still haven’t figured out what I’m doing later.”  “That’d be great.  I can pitch in for a tank of gas or something.”  “Great! Figure out what road I left you on, and I’ll be there in a while.”  I packed up my gear, got in the car, and called him back “Oh yeah… since you were going to camp out, and I was going to camp out at a rest-stop… why don’t I camp out with you and Rascall, and you can give me a guitar lesson, ’cause I have a guitar, and I can’t really play it.” “Sure thing man, that’d be fun!”

I drove to California, picked him and the dog up.  We hid the dog in a bunch of dirty clothes I had on the floor, and drove through the inspection station.  “Do you have any produce?”  “No”  “Thank you, move on.”  That was it!  So, I drove past Yirika, and found a nifty rest-stop.  We pulled out the guitars, and Dan showed me VooDoo Child riffs, Comfortably Nub, Mr. Tambourine Man, and pentatonic scales. This rest stop was cool.. it had a river next to it.  We could hear the river rushing by.  The dog was very well behaved.  When it was decided that we had enough guitar practice (funny enough, further in the parking lot there was a guy with a guitar, and a guy with a fiddle), we exchanged jokes, then went to sleep.  This way way better than the previous night’s camping!  Flat ground, light, non-psychos.  The only issue was that the ground was so dusty with each breath, I inhaled dust.  Dust is better than weird creeps in the dark.

I did wake up quite a few times, but less than the previous night.  This time I wore more layers, and brought an extra blanked into the sleeping bag with me.  I still awoke, cold, but… it was all right this time.  I woke up early in the morning, ditched my shirt, and enjoyed some amazing weather.  I practiced a tiny bit of guitar, and then exercised (100 pushups, 100 situps, and 4-minutes of planks). Again “Safe travels.”, and back to Oregon.  THIS time, I did get pulled over by California highway Patrol. I really didn’t know why.  It was bizarre.  The cop was on the side of the road with his lights on.  I was driving less than the speed limit, and passed him cautiously.  He turned off his lights, got on the road, then passed me, then pulled over, then started to go again, then turned on his lights.  I pulled over.  It turned out that I had lost my front plates.  Actually, I hadn’t… I just never had them!  You don’t get front plates in Florida or in Georgia.  He ran my license, insurance, and registration.  I had to fight myself as to not say “So… those mass murders didn’t show up, right?”  We did talk at length about couchsurfing, and about how he wants to go to Israel.  “Ummm… so.. I’m free to go, right?”

I made it into Oregon, back to Key of C.  Made some new friends there, and am now invited to one of their going away party on Sunday.The kicker: upon checking my voicemail this morning, I had a voicemail from way early last night from the girl I had called to see if I can couchsurf with her.  She said her roommates were fine with it, and I can show up.  But, because I didn’t get that last night, I ended up camping out with my hitcher.

The rest was fun, but not really adventure-  talking about all topics, getting a parking ticket for being over 2 hours, trying to plead my case, and being told that I have to write the judge a letter which will be sent with my payment.  I wrote a nice letter- I started it off as “Dear your honor,”  then talking about how one side of the street is 4 hours, while the other is 2 hours, and how I’m a travel writer, and if anything can be done… etc… I will definitely pay closer attention to the signs when I’m there tomorrow.

I jogged through Lithia Park (which is amazing), and I got a call from Kelsey, whom I was supposed to CouchSurf with tonight, and the previous night.  Apparently,  she had forgotten about her 5am bus trip to Eugene.  I said not to worry about it, I’ll find a place.  So… we never met up.  I walked through the park, and I heard some cheering.  Turns out there were a bunch of lesbians holding a rally in support of the gays’ right to marriage. I support them fully, as my older brother is gay, and I support their right to be miserable together as straight people.  After the rally, some lesbian went up to me and said hello.  She then introduced me to another person, then to Kelsey, who says “Ori? He was supposed to be crashing my couch tonight!”  So… funny… small world again!  So, at least I got to meet her.  My brother was very happy to hear that I was at a support rally.

I spent a good portion of the evening clearning out my car, and rearranging it.  I’m pleased to say that tonight, I can actually recline my seat all the way back!  It has been a long long time since I could do that!  So… tonight, so that I don’t freeze my ass off, I am sleeping in my car. I had sat in the park writing most of this post… then decided it was freezing, m battery was running low, and I can just finish tomorrow… but then decided to sleep near Key of C, as there’s a less conspicuous parking lot.  Turns out that there’s internet I can leech here in the parking lot.  My car can charge the laptop, so, I got to write the whole novel.  Hooray!  So.. naptime!  Tomorrow I have coffee, a radio interview, and then I got a cabin in Crater Lake! You probably won’t hear from me for a few days.  I hear there’s no cell or internet.

Make sure to have some of your own adventures, and try to help some people you don’t know.  Remember-  Kurt Vonnegut said “Unexpected travel plans are dance lessons from God.”