“When your stomach hurts, and you’re like ‘aaaaaaaarrrrgggggggh’, and you have to poop, you just have to go to the bathroom, run the bath tub to hear the soothing sound, then the world feels better, and then you have to walk around naked to let it air out!” New quote by Couch 48 after a night of spicy chicken wings and drinks.
Now to talk about alcohol…a serious’ish talk.

So… Thursday night, the guys are doing shots and drinks here at Couch 48’s. It’s pretty common to see. A lot of the fighters party, and we’re in a college town. They train hard, they work hard, they play hard. Tommy had warned the guys, saying that Alcoholism runs in his family, and that he gets abusive…. these claims were made in the past sometime. I don’t remember much of the evening…. I wasn’t drinking much. I was on the phone with Angela, when Tommy comes out on the balcony and starts telling me he loves me, that I’m good people, etc… He sounded pretty hammered, but he’s a good guy- he might say something like that sober. A little later on, I walk in and we watch a movie, the guys are still drinking, and Tommy’s drinking straight out of the bottle. His puppy is even being offered some Vodka drink. Fast forward –>–>–> Tommy’s puking his guts out in his tidy-whities, his doggie hanging out with him.

He was laughing, and amused at the whole thing. His girl, Bonnie, was pissed off. She was trying to go to sleep and blow the whole thing off. Things went down hill quickly from there. He pissed off his girl on a massive scale, was yelling at everyone really loud that none of this is his fault, he “Woke up to this.” (in reference that his girl was pissed off at him after she went through his texts and saw some from an ex). He was yelling that she can go fuck herself, and that he doesn’t care about her. He has 3 bibles over the toilet, so after he was yelling for a long time, I suggested to Brett to try handing him a bible (he reads it daily). It sort of started to work, except that I’m Jewish, so he asked me to say to his face that I believe that Jesus died for my sins. I said that I don’t, and then he got all belligerent at everyone, saying he doesn’t trust anyone, especially me. He got violent and threatened to try and kick my ass. He’s a fighter, and I hear he’s good…. but I’m bigger, and more sober… by far. Not that it would get to that point anyways, since Charles and Mike were in the room… and Brett. All bigger than him… all sober enough to hold him back, choke him out, etc… I took the easy approach and left the room so they can calm him down. Bonnie wanted to leave.. he was being a total dick. Charles is really good at keeping the peace. Tommy came back and apologized. He was back to I love you. The next morning, he had his mom come from Ft. Dodge and get him. He moved back there, and his dog took a dump all over the room… classy, eh?

So… then Saturday night, I worked on an image, so decided not to go drinking with everyone else. It doesn’t matter to me these days- I don’t have to drink (next post is my new image anyways, and it was well worth skipping drinks for a few days). The guys went to Heath’s house… They started drinking here. The night before they drank themselves silly anyways, and got really noisy… noisy to the point where the neighbors had to call Brett to threaten to call the office on him. Things finally got calm when enough people went to sleep. Anyways… the point was not about Friday night, but about Saturday. Saturday night, Heath came over, and they started up with the shots again. JagerMeister, Vodka, etc… Then, after a while, they decided to go to Heath’s place, and drink there. I had been waiting on Brett to go running, and then was hoping to learn more boxing, i.e. Pad training. Brett went with them, and I decided to stay, so that I can do my run (and I did 7.6 miles in 54 minutes!). Then I went to the store, got some coffee, kept working. Charles had told me to call them if I decide to join them…. by the time I got done running, eating, and showering , it was 11:30pm, and I figured I might as well just work. At 3:40am, Brett got home… he was drenched in sweat, and out of breath. “Charles won’t be back for probably a few days.. Heath…. well… we’re just not going to see him for a long long time!” So… here’s the skinny…. Heath drove (kind of drunk) through town like an asshole- i.e. really fast, in a slow zone, and then they drank some more, and then Charles & HEath snuck out and went to the bar to get more to drink. Brett and friends went to the bar too. Finally, they tried to take the keys away from Charles & Heath, and they made a scene, refused, and got into the car, locked it, and drove off. Apparently, they were seen by a cop, so… very quickly (1/2 a block), a cop car showed up, and turned on the sirens. The cops told them to get out of the car. Charles fell out, stumbled around, and got back in the car. He got arrested for public intoxication. The thing is though, that he wasn’t doing anything wrong… you are allowed to be drunk inside a vehicle… just not driving it. The problem was, that the second he stepped out of the car, he was now on public ground, and therefore guilty of public intoxication. Heath… that’s a different story. He was on his 3rd OWI / DUI… had a .33 Blood Alcohol Level (.35% is Medical anaesthesia, so… often times you will pass out, or stop breathing, or die. At .4 you’re basically dead), fell out of the car, resisted arrest a tiny bit, and all that fun stuff. He was already barred from driving, after his 2nd DUI… so.. he’s got a long time. Charles’ mom bailed them out today. Charles is fine… and since the cops had made him get out of the car, he’s probably going to have the charges dropped. Heath may get anywhere from a mandatory 60 days, all the way up to 6 years.

Now I don’t know Heath… but everyone I spoke to says he’s an outstanding guy.. totally top notch. I enjoyed my interaction with him. So, I feel bad for him, but he’s a big boy who knows what he’s doing. This is serious stuff though.

Tommy had warned us to not let him drink… so I’m not mad at him, but damage had been done, and his girl’s feelings were certainly hurt to say the least. I hear she’s pregnant with his baby (It’s what people in Iowa do… they drink, and they breed. Sounds like a shallow stereotype?? It’s all Iowa people who told it to me)… I don’t know if she’ll keep it or not. That’s her decision. But I don’t think she wants to spend any more time with him.

I tend to be funny when I drink. I haven’t drank to the point of vomiting in a long time. I have a good tollerance, and drinks are so expensive at bars, that I usually don’t drink much there. I personally would have said that Alcoholism is an excuse.. that people can’t take responsibility for a long night of drinking… but then I had a really bad experience with someone who is near and dear to me. Couch #4 had (before my journey began) asked me if I can shoot a fashion show for her… I said sure thing. This was 1 night before my launch party. It was at club Mansion in South Beach. I shot the fashion show, hung out with Couch 4 & the models, Couch 27 was doing the hair & makeup on the girls. It was a good time for most. The club, for throwing a great show, had given us (as many clubs in SoBe do) VIP Seating, and a bunch of free booze and juices to mix with it. I got bored after a bit, and just sat there. However, Couch 4 was my ride. When we got to the parking lot, she did not want to give me my cell phone back. She had put it in her cleavage, and was pretty drunk. Then she got all beligerent, and when I actually tried to take my cell phone, and she punched me… right in the eye! I warned her that that’s her last warning, and that I am getting my phone, and that I won’t take as kindly to being hit again. She tried to punch me once more, and I caught it very easily. She then tried to kick me, and I caught that, pulled her out of the car, and threw her in the air…. As she entered the air, I realized what was about to happen, i.e a great friend of mine was about to be thrown across a parking lot, and most likely injured… so… I changed my angle, changed my grip on her, and pulled her down from the air. All that happened was that she got some road rash on her hands. I demanded she open her trunk so that I can take my laptop and camera equipment out, and leave… but I’m leaving! She refused! I kept saying”that’s my life in your trunk! That’s all my stuff!” she said “All my stuff’s in there too!” “yeah.. but it’s your stuff, and your car, and you have the keys!” I was getting very angry… angry like I’ve never been- at least not in years! I could feel my teeth grinding, my body temperature rising, my fists turning white from being clenched so hard… I screamed at the top of my lungs “Give me my fucking equipment, now!” It was loud enough to get the Parking lot security to run our way “Is everything all right?” in that snotty tone that breaks up fights… As if everything will end and be ok, just because they showed up to save the day. “No! Everything’s not ok! She has $10,000 of my equipment in her trunk, and refuses to let me have my own stuff!” “Actually, I was just opening the trunk!” and she opened it. I took my gear out, and stormed out of there. I had no clue what to do. Couch 4 was a huge part of my party… she helped me secure the club… She recruited models, and I sent my models through her… so she had everyone’s sizes and contact info. I didn’t even know if I could throw my party now. I had aspent every moment of the last 2 weeks trying to organize this thing… I sat on the curb, and “Sobbed like a bitch” as the saying goes… I called Couch 27 to see if she can give me a ride to my car. This is like 6am… She came to get me, I love having friends that I can count on. We rode to my car in Ft. Lauderdale, and I drove back to South Beach. I had people counting on me, I was going to throw this party. So, I get there, and start making calls to Couch 4’s husband… he had informed me that she was not supposed to be drinking, and he didn’t know that she was going to be. This was my 1st time ever talking to him. I promised to call him when I found her. I called one of her business in her company… I called people she called from my phone. I called my lingerie providers. I called the club owners…. I did everything I could try! I also kept going back to the parking lot to check on her car. At 3pm I was still confused as to the events of the day… The party was to be held at Pearl– the VIP of Nikki Beach Club, South Beach… the 11th Poshest club in the world (at the time.. not sure what the ratings are these days). So, 3pm I walk into the parking garage, and I see Couch 4 pulling out of her parking spot, and about to leave. I guess I lucked out on the time I chose to walk there. I hiked up my pant legs, and pretended to be hitch hiking. Couch 4 stopped, looked angry, and said to get in. We went to a parking lot, parked, I put her on the phone with her husband, where she said that I dragged her all around a parking garage, and that I messed up her hands and knees…. the funny thing is, I have no idea what happened to her knees, since those didn’t hit the ground when I tossed her in the air…. I had brought her back down, and held her legs, as she landed on her hands. After she hung up, we sat there, glaring angrily at each other…. we said our fuck you’s, and everything was back to normal. These days we laugh at it. Especially since that night, at the party, she was doing some of the body paint on my lingerie-clad models… Cleaning out the air brush between paints, had totally put her in searing pain, as the rubbing alcohol got onto her road-rash on her hands. I’d look at her and chuckle, and say “What happened baby? Did you fall on your hands or something?” - As I said, these days we laugh at it. We were laughing at it that day actually… the party was amazing- probably the best party Iv’e ever been to. 18 models in lingerie / bodypaint, a belly dancer / samba dancer / a singer / an artist / a fashion show / free booze for everyone / and more… it was an awesome party, as I said… and I’m glad that Couch 4 came out… but at the time of our fight, I did not even recognize her! She was not my dear caring friend, but rather a stubborn, violent, belligerent bitch…. It was just awful. It was one of the worst nights of my life- followed by one of the best nights of my life.

Alcohol is used for fun… but certain people just lose control. Alcoholism is not a lame excuse, but rather a real problem. If anyone you know tells you that they shouldn’t drink… don’t force them! There’s a reason they told you that, and you may completely regret it. As far as drinking in general, don’t drink and drive! You can die, or kill someone, or go to jail very easily. I’m not trying to sound like a paranoid grandma, but this stuff happens all the time, and it’s awful seeing people you know suffer, go to jail, go to the hospital, injuring others, or just hurting people’s feelings.

That was a lot to type! Think I’ll celebrate the completion of this article by grabbing a drink

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